So I know that everyone thinks they had a bad day, but you have never had a night like mine. I am not typically a gambling man, but I would put money on it that my night was better than yours (unless of course you got into the grotto at the Playboy mansion-in that case, carry on and a tip of the hat to you). It all started after class (I had one of those standard writing workshops in the city) and since I was already there, I couldn’t very well just let the city entertain itself-so I headed over to my favourite bar. After finding an obvious lack of New York ladies needing a gentleman’s assistance home (or naive tourist for that matter), I decided I should drag my drunkass home before I missed the train and had to cough up the money to take a taxi back.
Now normally I am all for chatting up people in the subway-people have interesting stories, know things, and always want someone to listen to their story, but I had drank too much for that tonight and all I wanted was to listen to the new MGMT album and not think about the fact that I had a 10 page paper due in two days (which I naturally hadn’t started). So I am there minding my own business and out of no where some lady neglects to watch her kid, who almost walks into the train. Luckily I was there with my astounding quick reflexes (take that Flash!) to grab her and pull her back. Then the lady starts going crazy and cries everywhere and is telling me her whole story-again I am all for hearing stories when they are coherent and not sobbing raving. Finally the train stops and I park myself as far away from crying lady and her deathwish kid, across from a delivery boy, and some lady who is damn good looking but wound up too tight for her own good.
Since it is clear I am not going to peacefully be riding the train, I start talking with the dude across from me. Says his name is Garret and is “from New York” but guy couldn’t tell the difference between Madison Square Garden and Times Square if his life depended on it. Turns out he has a package for Ms. Serious-who either isn’t used to getting things from people or is way to suspicious for her own good. Then all of a sudden the train comes off the rails (beats the hell out of me how that happened) and we all go flying; to wake up several minutes later outside of the car. I can’t see anyone else around me but the little girl and she is messed up pretty bad. I tried to stop her from bleeding out, but instead I just ended up feeling her heart slowly stop and her body go limp. Right before she died though, she took off her bracelet and gives it to me-kinda crazy the things you think to do right before you die, didn’t ask for her mom or anything. Clearly being freaked out and knowing staying on the tracks isn’t the best idea, I move forward and come upon the lady with the package. Out of nowhere Garret bursts forth from the other car followed by rolling flames and tells us to get out here. Regardless of who he really is and where he really lives, I don’t need someone telling me twice to GTFO when I can hear the sound of metal crushing, moving, and some sort of snarling come from behind me.
We start running towards the darkness to the next platform where we are greeted by a group of ominous strangers that apparently have no clue what just happened 50 yds down the track. After yelling at them to call the police, they flash away, leaving us to own devices on how to get people down here to help that aren’t crazy. The lady with me rushes into the bathroom to try and find someone when suddenly something (I know now that it was a werewolf) attacks me and rips out the majority of my leg. So I am lying there bleeding all over the place, when the lady comes out shooting and gets attacked as well. You know the weirdest thing, everyone always says that your life flashes before you eyes right before you die. It really isn’t like that (well for me at least), the main thing you think about isn’t the pain or the face that you can’t retain consciousness from losing so much blood. Everything was like a flipbook, I did see things that had happened (good memories and the not so great ones), but you see things you are being robbed of: happiness, success, love, and you see all those things that will never happen. Dying isn’t going out screaming or full of anger, it’s a silent fear and loneliness that washes over you, consuming you, and in that moment you will do anything to surface out of that abyss.
Then I heard it, at the time I could only assume the voice of an angel-but now I know better, whispering in my ear questioning what I would do to live, offering me a life raft out of the swallowing depths of darkness, and after declaring with my whole being that I would do anything, I blacked out.
I wake up confused as shit in a room with the lady (Val is her name I finally learn) and a tower of wine (at least that’s what we thought). After coming to our senses we drank the whole tower and hear the most expertly played rendition of “Moonlight Sonata” since Tom Cruise tickled those ivories in “Interview with the Vampire”. When we round the corner our friends from the train station are there and that’s when they begin to tell us everything. They tell us we are dead. That we were attacked by werewolves. That apparently humans aren’t alone in this world. Then they drop on us the biggest of bombs-that we are vampires. So yeah there it is…I feel I need to stand up and introduce myself like in AA: “Hi, My name is Rayce Westerings and I’m a vampire.”
Next time you think your night was bad because you cracked your Iphone screen, take a seat, because you haven’t experienced anything like my last night…